Sacred Spaces

Thanks for all the responses to last week’s blog! I’m glad so many feel the same way. I’d still like to hear from more men about this – it’s your party, after all, guys – but overall I was amazed at the positive responses and I learned quite a lot of things I hadn’t known before.
Since not all of the responses happened in blog comments, I thought I’d summarise them here. First of all, some people had a problem with the term “Masculinism” because it turns out, it’s already used but mostly in a negative way, to describe a macho, chauvinistic attitude among men. You know what I say to that? Let’s reclaim the word! We can’t just let the idiots get away with everything. Some (though not all) feminists have reclaimed words like “whore” and “cunt” and purposely use them in a positive, empowering way. This is a great way of regaining control over what’s yours, so I hope men will do the same thing.
Rita pointed me to a wonderful project, based on research which shows how truly unhappy many boys and men are with the existing stereotypes. Do take the time to read this, it’s disturbing and at the same time heartwarming. Yes, people ARE aware of these things. Yes, steps are being taken. I hope this will become a movement, a wave, and that many men will find the courage to stand up for a new definition of masculinity – just like women still struggle to be perceived as strong and tough AND feminine.
I’d also like to re-emphasise that I’m not proposing for men and women to live in separate worlds. What I believe is that in order to live together in a more constructive, happy, blissful way, we ALSO need separate spaces. Just like in a one-on-one relationship, every partner needs alone-time occasionally, and needs their own friends and interests as well as things they have in common with their partner, so men and women need sacred spaces where there’s only masculine respectively feminine energy, to nourish and empower them, so they’ll be whole and healthy when they interact with each other.
That’s my belief, anyway.
Thanks again for your input, and if you come up with anything else, I’m absolutely happy to see it!
In the meantime, I’m working on my new community and next week, I’ll finally be able to present it to you. I’m in a very good space right now. I have gained even more clarity about my goals and dreams, and what my life will look like in years to come. There might not be much that’s new, and yes of course I’ve known my dream for a while now. But life is cyclical – just like nature – and there are times when we get caught up in “things”, and times when we reflect. That’s exactly how it should be, as long as we know to ride the waves and don’t try to stay in one phase forever. They’re all important: The reflection, the clarity, the planning, the activity, even the sometimes overwhelm and disappointment (they can be great motivators), then return to simplicity, reflection, etc. The wheel turns, the cycle spins.
Lughnasad was a beautiful time of plenty here in Ireland, and I fully enjoyed the sunshine and mild temperatures, fresh fruit aplenty and corn in the shape of bread. Then the New Moon came and with it a wonderful stillness and the aforementioned reflection and clarity. I feel laser-focused once again, and pumped for the coming growth of the Waxing Moon. Sharing these experiences is a blessing, be it here in the blog, on my Facebook page, or with my fellow women of the “13 Moons” course.
Don’t forget to check back next week for the big announcement!

8 thoughts on “Sacred Spaces

  1. Very profound and interesting discussion about masculine and femininity. I always thought when masculine at its best is actually being feminine, and vice versa, like the taichi graph…

    glad to know that you feel laser-focused once again!! Look forward to your big announcement next week!

  2. That's a great point. We all have both feminine and masculine energy in us, our souls are both, or either. Being in touch with the gender which is not our primary one makes us whole, without depending on this type of energy being provided by another person.
    Much love! xx

  3. The power of certain words is funny to me. In America the word “cunt” is a huge taboo. It's basically the worst word anyone can say. Then I came to the Philippines and met a British guy who said the same word was quite normal to use in the UK. It still holds a negative connotation, but it doesn't necessarily reflect on a woman. Now when I hear it it, although I still don't like it, it doesn't hold as much power.

  4. That's a great example of how the power of certain words is assigned by us, and we can RE-assign it if we wish! “Cunt” originally wasn't a swearword at all. Then it was abused as one for a long time, and some women say: Why just roll over and accept that? And start using it again. I have a lot of respect for that.

  5. Fascinating discussion Sybille! I am a wee bit curious about how the separate spaces work for those of us who don't feel we're completely masculine OR feminine (even though I look pretty feminine most of the time, and I definitely identify as a woman, I naturally have a really strong masculine energy). And how would they work for folks who are trans, or intersex?

    This is not in any way knocking the idea of separate, sacred spaces – I love having “all-girl time” with my friends, and I love working with other women in sacred circles. I'm just wondering what happens when someone's natural energy is at odds with (or at least, not 100% in tune with) their assigned sex and/or gender.



  6. It's a very good question, as gender identity is in no way as black-and-white (or, as it were, male-and-female) as we tend to think. I believe there should be spaces for however people define themselves, including mixed-identity groups for those who are in-between. Actually, there are tentative beginnings of online support groups for trans people, so some spaces already exist 🙂

    Much love! xx

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