Some days are just magical.
I mean, most days are, but some stand out for sheer perfection. I’m seeing a lot of those right now, but I’ll just give you an example, last week when the weather was still mild and sunny. I’d had another wonderful day learning about advanced wound care and talking to my lovely colleagues, and then on the way home I stopped by the health food store.
The sun was still shining (a few months ago it was already dark when I drove home from work!) and when I went to pay for my parking, I passed a fiddler playing trad in the street. I listened for a while and dropped a coin into his hat, and then accompanied by the music on the air, I went to buy some whole-food ingredients for more gorgeous, nutritious, and oh-so-yummy meals.
Then I went home to my new love. My love is black and sleek and sexy, and we have a date every evening, one as delicious as the next… I’m talking about my new food processor!
You see, I decided that with all the saving I’m doing, not going out, not buying more than the most essential of clothes and the like, it was time to spend some money on a. myself and b. some amazing friends I love so much I want to give them the world. I ordered a Kenwood food processor for me (it was reduced in price, so I paid under 100 Euro! We were clearly meant to be together), and some presents for the aforementioned friends. When the last of the presents arrive, I’ll pack a parcel containing my heart, and send it off.
I’m all warm and fuzzy.
As for the food processor – I can’t believe I’m writing a blog entry about a food processor, and be excited about it – that was necessary because so many of the ingenious Emily‘s recipes require one. How come I un-cook raw food these days? Well, it was like that:
Remember how I wrote a while ago, that I’ve freed myself from the pressure of being thin, of conforming, of “being good” – and how I’ve completely dissociated food from my own self-worth? That I love my body curvy or not-so-curvy? All that is still true. Actually, it’s true more than ever.
Over the past few years, I needed some protective layers because I felt I had to put on a different persona for my daytime work. I wasn’t happy in those places, although they had their redeeming factors, like a few precious people I can relate to and became friends with. I loved my expanding body; it’s exactly what I needed at the time, and with my long-fought-for freedom of judgment, I was and still am at peace with myself.
Now that I can be ME at work and enjoy every minute of every day, I found that I don’t need the protective layer any longer, nor do I need the fatty, unhealthful foods I have been eating. I don’t actually like junk food, I find it distasteful, and so I started to eat whole, taste-explosion types of food like the above vegan pizza, or the to-die-for raw lasagna with cashew cheese and broccoli sun-dried tomato pesto.
I’ve done this for nearly four weeks now and while I eat about 80-90% vegan, I’m not putting labels on what I’m doing. Why? Because you can be vegetarian or vegan and still eat crap like sugar or processed plant-oil fats like margarine (yuck!!). My motivation is different, and simple – I eat what does me good. All my life I’ve been in mild to moderate pain from my digestion. I thought it was NORMAL because it’s all I’ve ever known! Only recently did I realise that when I cut out sugar, gluten, and dairy, the pain miraculously disappears.
And that’s the sum total of my philosophy. You won’t find me preaching! It feels good and tastes amazing, so I eat it. If it stops doing me good tomorrow, I’ll start eating differently tomorrow.
It’s so simple.And having known eating disorder and guilt and shame around food, I’m eternally grateful that I’ve arrived in this place. I’ve never enjoyed eating so much. And now excuse me while I devour the last of the chocolate almond butter cups!
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