Believe me, I’m trying. I’m talking to my cutest. I’m going to the movies with friends. I’m consciously appreciating the fact that my life isn’t at all bad right now. And still I’m wired. The full moon isn’t helping either, it’s making me twitchy and impatient with all that extra energy.
I’m still enjoying it. Search me.
The fact is that there are several big changes in my life upcoming, and I can’t even talk about it right now because it’s just not ready to be shared. And so I wait, trying to get grounded, but it’s rather like catching a wet bar of soap – kind of fun, but slippery and hard to get a hold of!
To give you an idea of the process I’m going through, it’s like the early stages of hatching (well, I’m a mad bird lady, what kind of metaphor did you expect from me??). I’m struggling, squirming, pecking a hole, slowly widening the appearing cracks. It’s rather uncomfortable but also familiar and comforting. But out there is the world, and that’s my destination. So I keep pecking.
In less cryptic and more enjoyable news, I’m making a serious effort to get my budgies, if not tame, then at least less afraid of me. Drama-queen Tia’s lessons are anchored deeply within them; especially Talion is absolutely terrified of me, or to be precise, of my hands.
As long as my hands are on my back, they happily close their eyes at me and fluff up while they listen to me singing their praises. But scary hands appearing in front of or (shock, horror!) INSIDE the aviary, and they panic, no matter how slow-motion my movements are. I’ve tamed several budgies in my life, but this is new: they are fairly independent of me and have a big aviary to fly to the furthest corner where I can’t reach them, the little beggars.
Still, there’s progress. Some days ago, they ate eggfood out of a bowl I was holding. That was my greatest triumph. Titus even put his claw on my finger (which was wrapped around the bowl). I wanted to shout: “Yes, yes, yesssss!! Little-Titus claw on my finger!!” but I knew better and just continued murmuring what a clever little budgie he was, whilst holding perfectly still.
Funny how some people don’t understand that my heart stops and starts with moments like these.
And that’s my rather weird update this week. I hope I’ll have more and clearer news soon! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the full moon and all the abundance and energy She brings.
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