Earthquake Zone

Hag October 2015

Aaaaand here’s a new Hag’s Den page. Bet you didn’t see that coming! Mwahahahaha!

Yeah, and I know I haven’t blogged in something like centuries, in internet terms. To be exact, it’s been since the early days of January. Truly sorry about that, and I solemnly swear I’ll work on it! The thing is, I was working on a major creative project, in addition to a full-time job and a part-time business, and there simply weren’t enough hours in the day. I think it was worth it, though – and now I’m back.

Actually, I don’t even know it’s true that “I” am back. Those of you who’ve come to know me over the past years, have come to know a rather reduced version of what makes up the hag. It was a chronicially sleep-deprived, unhealthy, low-energy, exhausted version who didn’t even have physical space for pagan practice and who saved every last cent of money for a dream and therefore didn’t even go out to see friends more than a few times a year.

Fast-forward to 2016, when the downsizing of my life (started in September with moving back West, quitting my job and getting a much nicer work-from-home one, albeit with lower income) is starting to pay off, and you’ll see a very changed hag. So changed, in fact, that you might not quite know me any longer. However, I do, it’s almost like I recognise myself in the mirror for the first time in years, and I am SO HAPPY with what I see!

I’m just telling you this so you’ll be prepared for changes.I’m only just beginning to wake up from my enchanted sleep, and I fully expect more revolutionary things to happen. For now, I’ve started exercising again, slowly, painfully starting to regain the strength and endurance I used to have. I’m also starting to go out and meet people, because frankly, while I’ve needed time on my own to heal, I’m very alone here. I like alone – love it, in fact – but right now it’s too much of a good thing, and I’m getting up, getting going, and getting a life again. Finally.

With this “revival”, the old hag is back. The hag who wore black lace and danced herself silly every day just in order to keep a resemblance of sanity and to stay grounded. And the hag who was always good for a surprise. I’m radically calling into question everything I thought to be true, and when I say everything, I mean absolutely bloody everything. Including living in Ireland and including the bird sanctuary. Yes, really!

I don’t mean that I’m moving away tomorrow (or at all), or that I don’t want to have a bird sanctuary any longer. Fact is, the Cauldron Community isn’t going to happen here, they’re looking in Northern Ireland now. As for the bird sanctuary: What I’m questioning is, do I want to do this on my own? If I did it now, I’d be completely tied down every single day of every single week, month, and year, and what if anything should happen to me? I wonder if it’s the responsible thing to do unless and until I find people to share the responsibility with.

For now, I need to LIVE. I’ve put it off for far too long. Up to my mid thirties, I was right in the middle of life, surrounded by people I loved, by music, writing, pagan practice, ecstasy. Then came the financial collapse and the much-needed recovery, and it had to take precedence, it simply was too urgent to be put off. Now that that’s done, though, I need to catch up with the rest of my life. I said it before and I’m saying it again: Watch this space!

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11 thoughts on “Earthquake Zone

  1. PixieCat

    Sounds like you have a really good thing going. I loved moving home again after finishing my studies and an extremely bussy life down south. Right now I have just come out of another bussy period where I have found my boyfriend and moved. Looking forward to some time to craft and paint again 🙂

    Good luck in your new life!

    1. Being busy can definitely be a good thing, as long as we’re busy doing the right things! 🙂 But yeah, time for creativity is so important, and it’s great to get some peace and quiet for it. So glad to hear things are going well for you! Hugs!!

  2. Roderic Ellis

    Well well well ( three Wells make a river,) I like the new look, also where have you been, no b******s*** I and loads more have missed you. You getting your act together and increasing fitness levels is brilliant, just had a little flash when are you going back to Austria or somewhere else in mainland Europe, please tell xx

    Sibylle reply: Rod, I’m so sorry I somehow missed your comment! Still getting used to the notifications and format of this new site. I will definitely let you know if I ever move away again. Good to “see you” on here as well x

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