Aaaaand here’s a new Hag’s Den page. Bet you didn’t see that coming! Mwahahahaha!
Yeah, and I know I haven’t blogged in something like centuries, in internet terms. To be exact, it’s been since the early days of January. Truly sorry about that, and I solemnly swear I’ll work on it! The thing is, I was working on a major creative project, in addition to a full-time job and a part-time business, and there simply weren’t enough hours in the day. I think it was worth it, though – and now I’m back.
Actually, I don’t even know it’s true that “I” am back. Those of you who’ve come to know me over the past years, have come to know a rather reduced version of what makes up the hag. It was a chronicially sleep-deprived, unhealthy, low-energy, exhausted version who didn’t even have physical space for pagan practice and who saved every last cent of money for a dream and therefore didn’t even go out to see friends more than a few times a year.
Fast-forward to 2016, when the downsizing of my life (started in September with moving back West, quitting my job and getting a much nicer work-from-home one, albeit with lower income) is starting to pay off, and you’ll see a very changed hag. So changed, in fact, that you might not quite know me any longer. However, I do, it’s almost like I recognise myself in the mirror for the first time in years, and I am SO HAPPY with what I see!
I’m just telling you this so you’ll be prepared for changes.I’m only just beginning to wake up from my enchanted sleep, and I fully expect more revolutionary things to happen. For now, I’ve started exercising again, slowly, painfully starting to regain the strength and endurance I used to have. I’m also starting to go out and meet people, because frankly, while I’ve needed time on my own to heal, I’m very alone here. I like alone – love it, in fact – but right now it’s too much of a good thing, and I’m getting up, getting going, and getting a life again. Finally.
With this “revival”, the old hag is back. The hag who wore black lace and danced herself silly every day just in order to keep a resemblance of sanity and to stay grounded. And the hag who was always good for a surprise. I’m radically calling into question everything I thought to be true, and when I say everything, I mean absolutely bloody everything. Including living in Ireland and including the bird sanctuary. Yes, really!
I don’t mean that I’m moving away tomorrow (or at all), or that I don’t want to have a bird sanctuary any longer. Fact is, the Cauldron Community isn’t going to happen here, they’re looking in Northern Ireland now. As for the bird sanctuary: What I’m questioning is, do I want to do this on my own? If I did it now, I’d be completely tied down every single day of every single week, month, and year, and what if anything should happen to me? I wonder if it’s the responsible thing to do unless and until I find people to share the responsibility with.
For now, I need to LIVE. I’ve put it off for far too long. Up to my mid thirties, I was right in the middle of life, surrounded by people I loved, by music, writing, pagan practice, ecstasy. Then came the financial collapse and the much-needed recovery, and it had to take precedence, it simply was too urgent to be put off. Now that that’s done, though, I need to catch up with the rest of my life. I said it before and I’m saying it again: Watch this space!
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