From time to time, I feel this strong urge to question absolutely everything in my life. It’s just what I do, and it keeps me on my toes. Many of the radical changes I’ve made throughout my life – moves to different countries, change of job or business – have come from this habit. And if I decide not to change something, I then know for sure that it’s what I truly want at this time.
I’m at one of these points in my life right now, as you may have noticed over the past few entries. Or you may not, because readership and engagement with my blog have gone down to one or two comments each time and one of the things I’m wondering about is whether it might be time to close down The Hag’s Den. I’ve never been interested in holding a monologue, and maybe personal blogs are no longer the way to go. I have my Coaching page after all, and write articles for my weekly newsletter which I publish in blog form there (sign up for the email updates while you’re about it, you get the full package including regular special offers with that).
The questioning is still a work in progress, but here’s what I’ve got so far:
- Sleep. I’ve done so much healing over the past 1 1/2 years. Part of it was starting to move again and heal physically. I have stalled in this, though, ever since I moved here last September, and I’m beginning to realise I’m not just slacking, it’s the constant lack of sleep – and lack of quality sleep, as I simply don’t sleep as deeply with white noise in my ears – that’s getting to me. I’m always, always tired. Even when I do get enough for once, it’s more like a temporary respite, because one or two nights in a row just doesn’t cut it. I noticed that a few weeks ago when my neighbours were gone, I had a week of blissful sleep and suddenly bounced off the walls with energy!
- Passion. I need to do the things which light me up. This was at the heart of my entire re-awakening thing and I need to keep it up. It’s directly related to the sleep issue, because I’m not up for anything if I’m just bleary-eyed and exhausted. And there’s absolutely nothing which is more important – there’s a reason why I’m focusing my Coaching on this, and my constant challenge is to make people understand to what extent it revolutionises life to centre it around passion.
- My soul work. This is basically the purpose for which I was put on this planet, and it’s to support beautiful souls in making positive change. This is why Wild Spirits Coaching is so important; it’s what I currently see as the best vehicle.
- Living situation. I might stay in Ireland and I hope I’ll be able to because I honestly love it here. However, I will move if I have to, in order to get the life I want and need, with peace and quiet, as well as a social life. It can’t be all that impossible!
I’ll let you know when things get a little clearer! I’m just going to let all these insights “stew” for a while and see what comes up.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying the “luminous weeks”. I know I go on about this every year but gods, I love this time so much! I mean, I sleep less than ever, but who cares when there’s still some light when I go to sleep (I sleep at 22.30 these days because my neighbours wake me at around 6 in the morning; by nature, I’m much more of a night owl), and light again when I wake up. The budgies love it too.
I have this sweet, almost painful happiness in me and an indefinable longing for je-ne-sais-quois. So much love, and the sensuality of mild air on my skin and in my hair, the lusciousness of nature, flowers everywhere and heavy, juicy green foliage.
I went to Massbrook last week and it had rained, but it was still around 20 degrees warm, so the air was heavy and humid – a nightmare for some people but I felt like taking off all my clothes and hugging trees! This forest is like a home to me, it’s the exact opposite of my house, where I sleep lightly and wake up at every little sound. In Massbrook, I can fall alseep in seconds lying down on the soft moss of the forest floor, feeling completely safe and protected among the gentle watch of the tall trees.
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