When I say that I have trouble sleeping in the vicinity of awake humans, people usually assume I’m an insomniac. It’s not true: I sleep like a log as long as it’s reasonably quiet, it’s just “people sounds” that wake me up all the time.
There are exceptions, though, such as the time of the year when I simply don’t sleep no matter what. Every year around the Summer Solstice, there are a few weeks when I assume a toddler’s attitude to sleep, in that I’m way too excited and wired to even think of sleeping, unwilling to miss out on waking hours, and unable to fall asleep although I’m actually tired.
It’s not a problem, as long as it’s just a week or two in the year. In my current situation, it’s compounded by the fact that “human noise” cuts short my sleep all the time anyway, but I’m way too excited to care right now. It’s Solstice time!!
Trying to put into words how I feel at the moment is one of the rare occasions when words fail me. Allow me to try.
- Part of my pagan practice is to be aware of and constantly strengthen my connection with the natural world. Paired with my natural high sensitivity, this makes me extremely receptive to what’s going on around me. At this time of the year, when life is practically bursting from every leaf on every tree and even the grass is happily procreating (alas, I’m allergic to the pollen, but it’s not as bad as it used to be), it’s like a constant bombardment.
“High vibration go on…” (if you don’t recognise this line, you really really need to listen to Yes’s “Awaken”)
- I’ve spent decades of my life sharpening my senses and the months from around mid April to mid August are like sensory overload. All. The. Time. The air is fragrant and seductive, the warm breeze caressing, the grass soft and cuddly. The waves tickle my ankles, my feet kissing the sand. I’ve a heightened perception at this time, food tastes even better than usual, and there are so many tasty things right now, such as fresh strawberries! And don’t get me started on the luminous nights, never-fading daylight, golden evenings and bright mornings.
- It’s also the sexiest time of the year. “Come on now, try and understand the way I feel when I’m in your hands…” (<3 Patti Smith) I’m always, *always* starry-eyed around June, I just can’t help it. And blissfully happy.
- There are downsides, too. Due to the lack of sleep, my attention span is down to a few seconds, which leads to hilarious moments when I find an empty tea mug on the counter and long-since cooled water in the kettle, which I clean forgot to pour when it was boiling.
- I’m too wired to notice my tiredness most of the time, but occasionally it catches up with me and then I’m so groggy from one minute to the next that I could just lay down my head and start snoring. Unfortunately, I rarely have the luxury to do so, as it tends to happen during work or when I’m out! And then there are times when my mood just crashes and I’m suddenly convinced I’m an awful person and nobody loves me.
- I can be a taxing friend at this time, constantly going “Oooh, shiny!” and bursting with ideas, messaging and texting people at random (“let’s do this!” -“Have you seen that? Shall we check it out? Sure, midnight’s fine… sleep is overrated”). Thankfully, my wonderful friends love their hag and have long since learned to just smile and nod, haha…
I love Solstice time, can you tell? Tonight I’ll go outside to dance with the fairies and do my Eve-of-the-Solstice ritual, and tomorrow (the actual Solstice happens on the 21st this year) will be another tired but joyful holiday. I’m determined that work won’t get in the way.
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